Dealing with Haters

Did you ever have to deal with jealousy and envy from other females?

I have and it was tough. Now that I was able to handle the situations and learned how to deal with them, I would like to share with all of you how I did it.

I have had jealousy from girls for many reasons, my looks, excessive attention from boys from 1st grade. When I was in grade 3, I went to a new school, that consisted mainly of girls and a few boys, I had to deal with a lot of rejection from girls. They would get together, chat and create gossips about me, without even knowing me! Kids can be very cruel. I felt destroyed, like I did not belong. It was very painful. I did not tell anyone that I was always excluded and gossiped about.

In 2 years, luckily, I went to a new school and got lucky with my classmates. I made amazing friends, however, there have been girls from other grades that were creating gossips about me. I remember getting a lot of attention from boys. They were always around and the girls were jealous. They tried to put me down behind my back and say mean things. They were creating stories about me that were not true.

Now, that I am an adult, there is a common theme. I always have girls in my life, that are jealous. Jealous of my looks, jealous of my boyfriend, jealous of my life.

It was very tough for me to admit and realize that I am the one who creates all this jealousy around me.

When something happens in our childhood, we make assessment of who we are based on a situation. We make a belief/label of who we are and it becomes a part of our identity. Once a believe “I do not belong” or “People don’t like me” has been created, it acts like a self-fulfilling prophecy. We forget what meanings we made when we were very young, but we live those beliefs unconsciously.

My unconscious belief was that females don’t like me (I am a female myself).

Now, the way I deal with it, is I don’t let that belief stop me. I am open with other girls. I love and respect my female friends. No need to say that I do get a lot of male attention and there are cases that some of the ladies get jealous. In those cases I show them that in my value system, I always put friendship first, and I’d never go out or flirt with a man who is in a relationship.

If someone is jealous, look at your beliefs. Remember your childhood, what beliefs did you make about yourself. They play a very important role today.

There is another way of looking at it. If someone is jealous, they are suffering. They think that you are better than them. They feel like they are not good enough and most likely suffer from low self-esteem.

Give compassion to those people, they are suffering. Probably in their childhood they did not receive enough love and attention.

Let go of toxic people. If someone is jealous of you, let them go. They are toxic and they are not reliable friends. Surround yourself with reliable, authentic friends.

 

 

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